It is true that an sms break up is probably the quickest way to terminate a relationship. All you have to do is send at quick text message and boom…the relationship is over. You don’t have to argue for hours and you don’t have to deal with the other person’s negative emotions. It’s quick, it’s painless, and it’s even…a little unfair. Think about it for a second and put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving the text.
Image you are driving around in your car, running a few errands, and you receive a sudden sms break up message like this:
- I’ve been thinking about things. I’m not happy. It’s over.
- I’m tired of arguing. I don’t want to see you again.
- This is not working out. I’m going to see other people.
Not only is this sudden, but it doesn’t give the other person an opportunity to express themselves. Maybe you have had enough, maybe it is clear to you that things won’t work out, but that isn’t an excuse to send an sms break up. Instead of just grabbing your phone and typing an impulsive message, take a quick pause. First, make a list of trouble items that concern you about the relationship. Second, write a possible solution next to each trouble item. This will help you think through things and stop you from making an impulsive mistake you will regret later.
There are some basic things to consider if you want to break up with someone, but there is one thing in particular you cannot avoid: there is no effortless way to do it. There will be some conversation. Both people need an opportunity to express themselves. Many times, people want to break up too quickly because they were looking for the perfect relationship. Don’t go for the quick out. Avoid the sms break up and look for an opportunity to talk to your partner.
Here is a simple thought to remember to help you better connect with your partner
-Good conversation is created by good questions.-
And here are three things that ruin the chance for good conversation.
- Choosing safe conversations – Asking yes or no questions. Giving one-word answers. Having a conversation you have had 30 times before. These are all ways to “play it safe” in a conversation.
- Getting intimidated – Sometimes you get scared of what your partner might say. Maybe they wont approve of your question. Maybe you are nervous about their truthful answer. In any case, these situations keep you from having the sincere conversations you are really after.
- Acting shy – Maybe you don’t want to be the first to ask. Maybe this is the first time you have ever talked about this subject. Sure it is a little uncomfortable, but that emotion should be shared with your partner…not hidden from them.
Don’t lose your courage to have exciting conversation.
Remember some very simple relationship math…
Safe = Normal = Boring = Your partner goes AWAY!
Be sure that you aren’t stopping the growth in your relationship. If you are looking for some help to continue good conversation in your relationship there is help just around the corner. Click to learn more.
–> Know Your Partner A Little Better <–
Don't Destroy Conversation
Have you ever asked your partner the following questions?
1) How was work today?
2) Are you hungry?
3) Do you want to watch a movie?
…and what answers did you get?
1) Fine.
2) Not right now.
3) No thanks.
And how BORING is that? Are these questions
…thoughtful?
…interesting?
…fun?
They most definitely are NOT!
But that is what happens…you ask safe questions because…they are SAFE. In your mind, you and your partner “talked” today. You had a “conversation”.
Again, we think NOT!
Do yourself a favor. Ask the kind of questions that CREATE conversation. For example:
1) If your boss gave you a $10,000 raise what would you do?
2) What is the best dessert you ever tasted?
3) Why do you like the movie “Gone with the Wind” so much?
But here is the trick, you cannot CREATE good conversation unless you VALUE good convesation. Take this quiz to see the value you place on conversation.
—> Quick Quiz – Create Conversation <—
Do Not Discuss
Great conversations begin with the courage to discuss difficult topics.
It does NOT mean that you have to arugue, yell, and scream. It DOES mean that you share your emotions even if you feel SHY or INTIMIDATED.
Make it your business to be more creative so that you can better connect with your partner.
Love letters, poems, and gift ideas are all good and healthy ways to reach out to your partner, but when it is time to TALK what do you TALK about?
Here are three typical topics to avoid and why.
- Career – Most people work in a job they do not enjoy. They are actually more interested in talking LESS about what they do not MORE. Think outside the box and look for more interesting conversation topics for both of you.
- Education – How many times can you tell someone where you went to school? This topic may be interesting the first time, but never again. Education is important, but discussing it is not much fun.
- Pets – Do you want to learn more about the person or their pet “Fluffy”? Pets are fun, and maybe you have one too. Still, think more about how to connect with the person in the relationship and less about their pet.
So what should you do? Be interesting…be exciting! How do you do that? Here is a report with 10 great tips.
—> Be More Exciting <—
Did you BORE your partner today?
Are you sure?
How many simple questions did you ask in order to have a safe conversation so you could say you “talked to them” today?
Did you avoid the emotional conversation so you could have the safe conversation?
Here is some quick relationship math for you.
Safe = Normal = Boring = Your partner goes AWAY!
You need to do more than communicate on a SIMPLE and SAFE level. You need to communicate on an EMOTIONAL level.
But…what do you say…
When you feel like you already KNOW them?
When you really don’t want to TALK right now?
When you don’t know WHAT to say?
Here are three of the most common difficult situations to have a conversation.
- When your partner is upset about something.
- When your parter is concerned about something.
- When your partner is excited about something.
Sometimes the conversation may be a little uncomfortable, but these are the times when you partner needs you most. If you are in doubt, ask about the emotion itself. Ask where it came from and why your partner feels the way they do. Ask the RIGHT question the RIGHT way and take the relationship to a much deeper level.
Isn’t that exactly what you want?
Don’t be afraid to engage the emotion. Share the emotion with your partner and improve your relationship. Here are over 1000 GREAT questions you can ask your partner to encourage a deeper connection. Click to learn more.http://evenbetterlove.com/recommends/1000questions
Quality conversation is the key to any good relationship. It works out PROBLEMS, it creates SOLUTIONS, and it brings EXCITEMENT into your interactions.
For most, good conversation is hard because their emotions overwhelm them. They become SHY and INTIMIDATED. They LOSE the courage to have exciting conversation.
These emotions create very safe conversations that lead to boredom.
Here is some very simple “relationship math” to always remember.
Safe = Normal = Boring = Your partner goes AWAY!
Having good conversation doesn’t mean that you have to open the conversation with a line from a romantic comedy. It does mean that you have to do things that are a little more interesting. Here are some quick tips:
- Stop asking “Yes or No” questions.
- Never settle for one word answers to your questions.
- Always make eye contact when you listen and speak.
Don’t lose your partner because you are scared to express how you really feel. Have the courage for good conversation.
If you want to learn more about how to have great conversations with your partner, learn from an relationship expert! Click here to learn more.
http://evenbetterlove.com/recommends/1000questions
